With Solid Fa Study and Looking Inward, I No Longer Lose My Way

(Minghui.org) I have practiced Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong) for over a decade. I came to the practice late, so I’m far behind the diligent veteran practitioners. I’d like to share my cultivation experience to validate Master’s greatness and Dafa’s magnificence.

After a Difficult Beginning, I Finally Obtained the Fa and No Longer Lose My Way

I was born in the 1970s in the countryside in China. I loved to read from the time I was a child, but books were hard to come by in rural areas. I often borrowed books and spent many sleepless nights finishing them by the light of a dim kerosene lamp. The more I read, the more puzzled I became: Why would people kill each other? Why do so many tragic things happen?

I often had nightmares of falling from a very high place into an abyss so deep that I could not see the bottom. They were terrifying. As I was growing up, insecurity and anxiety followed me, especially after experiencing the loss of my loved ones. Almost once a month, I would find myself crying inexplicably, the depression and insecurity just pouring out.

With good grades in school, I landed an enviable job. My life seemed smooth, but I still felt depressed, because I did not know the purpose of life or why it was so exhausting and painful. I was waiting for someone to tell me the true meaning of life.

There was a Falun Gong practice site in my neighborhood before the CCP started the persecution of the practice. Every time I passed by, I could see people sitting in meditation with soothing music playing. After a manager where I worked started practicing Falun Gong, he stopped drinking alcohol and no longer asked to be reimbursed for his meals on business trips, which I found admirable.

At the time, I was busy with work and taking care of my baby and parents. After the CCP started the all-out suppression of Falun Gong, people began to shun its practitioners. But I read the brochures they handed out carefully and kept them.

The more I read their materials, the clearer it seemed to me who was right and who was wrong, and the more I understood the situation. As a result, I became immune to the lies that slandered Falun Gong.

Finally, one day, a coworker gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun. I read a few pages at night whenever I had time and eventually read it several times. I felt that I should conduct myself following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

Later on, the coworker gave me a thick book of Master Li’s new articles. It helped me understand why the CCP was persecuting Falun Gong, and I came to realize that, in cultivating the Buddha Fa, one should expect to encounter tribulations.

At the time, due to the stress of work, the death of a family member, chronic insomnia, insufficient blood supply, and other health problems, including gynecological issues, I was on the verge of collapse. The doctor recommended surgery for my serious breast hyperplasia. But I felt that surgery would not change my overall condition, so I decided to try Falun Gong instead.

That very night, I had an incredible dream: I was in a dark room, and something told me I’d been sentenced to death and awaiting execution. My instinct for survival made me want to escape. I paced and paced until I found a skylight. Using all my strength, I climbed out through it and escaped, ending up in a beautiful place like a fairyland. As I walked, I realized a higher being was guiding me.

When I was learning Exercise Two, as I began to hold the wheel with both hands, I instantly felt strong energy! At the time, over 40 Dafa books had been published, and I read them hungrily. I realized that Dafa is the truth of the universe and has solved the mystery of the ages.

I felt fortunate to have finally obtained the Fa and start cultivating. I am no longer confused and know I will never be lost on my life’s journey. That was the best choice I have ever made in my life, even though the CCP’s persecution is ongoing.

After just a few short months of practicing, I felt Dafa’s supernormal and radiant beauty. The feeling of my body and mind being purified was something I could never have dreamed of in the past.

For over a year, I could not stop my tears whenever I saw Master’s picture. I was grateful beyond words to Master and felt deeply fortunate to have become one of his disciples.

Diligent Fa Study and Looking Inward: Overcoming Fear and Letting the Flower Bloom

In the first few years, I basically practiced alone, lacking the group cultivation environment due to the persecution. I studied the Fa most of the time and browsed Minghui.org at home. Realizing that the CCP’s lies had poisoned so many people, I wished I had a printer to make truth-clarification materials. Eventually, I overcame my fear and bought one.

My husband created a lot of tribulations for me. I didn’t know how to cultivate properly and thought that, because I was doing a righteous and good thing, he shouldn’t treat me that way.

I was validating Dafa with an everyday person’s mentality, mixing personal cultivation with Fa-rectification cultivation. I failed to see through the old forces’ arrangements, so I was constantly interfered with and experienced many tribulations. It was truly a heart-wrenching and agonizing cultivation process.

My husband has a totally different personality from mine. Before I became a practitioner, I used to look down upon his behavior and the things he did, and I unconsciously resented him. After I began cultivating, I knew that harboring resentment was wrong, but I could not seem to get over it.

It wasn’t until 2017, when I read The Ultimate Goal of Communism, that I realized the the communist specter was behind resentment, and I broke out in a cold sweat. From then on, I paid special attention to eliminating my resentment. In fact, twice I had the same dream related to resentment.

In the dream, my husband and I are visiting a relative. In the relative’s village, I saw grayish-black smoke coming out of the ground in front of every house. To find the source of the smoke, I left the village and saw a grayish-black mountain in the distance. I found the place ominous, and I hurriedly dragged my husband away.

My enlightenment quality was poor at the time, and I didn’t understand what the dream meant.

A couple of years later, I had the same dream. But this time, instead of running away from the village, I bravely walked toward the large mountain to see what was there. As I got closer, I saw two massive, grayish-black mountains shrouded in a foul atmosphere, and between them, impossible to miss, stood the CCP’s five-star blood-red flag!

Years later, after regular, dedicated Fa study, it dawned on me that, due to the Communist Party’s brainwashing I had been subjected to since I was a child, those mountains in my repeated dreams were resentment, hatred, and competition, integral parts of CCP culture, that had formed in my own dimensional field!

I have also dreamed of hiking with my classmates on a flaming mountain, surrounded by smoke and attacked by fireballs rolling downhill. I came to realize that it was likely my attachment to anxiety reflected in my dimensional field. In other dreams, I have seen lifeless, bare landscapes, likely reflections of my selfishness and coldness.

I have come to realize that attachments, when manifested in microscopic dimensions, become mountains that we must face on our path of cultivation. Just like Yu Gong, the Foolish Old Man Who Removed the Mountains, we must constantly look inward and strengthen our righteous thoughts before we can remove those obstructing mountains from our path.

In understanding resentment, I have gradually come to realize that, no matter what the circumstance or who is involved, as soon as resentment surfaces, I must pay attention, because no matter who I resent, resentment leads to hatred.

Master arranges our paths of cultivation, but the old forces will seize any opportunity to interfere. If we fail to identify and remove resentment and other attachments, it can lead to tribulations that are difficult to overcome. When such a situation persists, we may even develop resentment for Master, feel as though we have been abandoned, and, in the worst case, give up cultivation.

This is precisely the Communist specter’s ultimate goal, which seeks to destroy us through “hatred.”

As I continued to study the Fa, cultivate, and look inward, and with many hints from Master, I gradually came to the understanding that our family members, who share the closest predestined relationships with us, also had the godly courage to come to the human world.

Their prehistoric vows may include helping us improve and advance in cultivation through tribulations. However, the old forces believe in rectifying mistakes through negativity, so they manipulate our family members to interfere with us repeatedly, especially when our attachments have not been removed.

For example, many years ago, when my husband and I visited friends and relatives, he would either drive to dead ends or take wrong turns. I found it very strange, because he was an experienced driver and knew the roads well. Later, I had a dream in which I saw someone manipulating him while he was driving.

I came to realize that it was time for me to change my conventional way of thinking. If I continued to view things in Fa-rectification cultivation practice with human thoughts, I would reach a dead end.

The Process of Letting Go of Human Notions About Sickness

I had been frail and weak since I was a child. Before practicing Dafa, I suffered from long-term insomnia and had a yellowish complexion. I was 40 years old but I looked like I was in my 50s. I also had serious gynecological issues.

After I began practicing Dafa, my physical condition improved significantly, and I gradually became healthy. My cultivation journey was accompanied by karma elimination and xinxing improvement.

Four years into my practice, I began experiencing the intermittent elimination of gynecological karma, which lasted almost 10 years and caused me great distress and confusion. Through continuous Fa study, I gradually came to understand that it was a process of cleansing my body, removing karma accumulated over many lifetimes, and improving my xinxing and enlightenment quality.

I came to understand that the human body is precious, because one can bear hardship, repay karma, and practice cultivation with it. I learned to measure everything I encountered with Dafa and gradually let go of human reasoning and human thoughts.

Human thoughts are not something one can let go of all at once, and my attachments were also removed layer by layer. I have gone through a heart-wrenching, agonizing cultivation process by changing from resenting others to looking for fault in myself. I have finally come to gain some understanding of the karma that is related to lust and desire.

Master said,

“At his level, Sakyamuni brought up the theory of three thousand worlds, which is to say that in this Milky Way there are also people with flesh bodies like those of our human race.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)

In my understanding, this flesh body (carnal body) of ours exists at the lowest level of the Three Realms. Many lust and desire-related substances, along with accumulated karma in this regard, exist within this body.

During the course of cultivation, as our bodies are cleansed layer by layer, our karma is eliminated layer by layer too. Only then can the karma be transformed into de, which is then converted into gong, the high-energy matter used to transform our bodies. This is such a wonderful process, and I shouldn’t feel distressed. I reminded myself to let go of the distress and take my symptoms lightly.

By now, I have basically let go of human thoughts about sickness and regard all my symptoms as part of karma elimination and my gong increasing. At the same time, I cherish looking inward, the magical tool given to us by the Fa, and I send righteous thoughts to negate any persecution by the old forces.

Solid Fa Study and True Cultivation Are the Keys to Doing the Three Things Well

For more than a decade, I have stumbled along on my cultivation journey, but I have often sensed Master’s merciful protection and enlightening, and at times, even a stick warning.

A few years ago, I began to realize that my attachment to anxiety was a form of demon nature, which left me far from having the calm, composed mind required by the Fa.

Starting in 2018, I began to hand-copy and memorize the Fa. To date, I have copied Zhuan Falun five times and memorized it three times. I have gained a great deal through these efforts, and many stubborn attachments, after being removed layer by layer, have significantly weakened in the process.

I also made it a requirement for me to read all of Master’s books at least once a year, which has deepened my understanding of Fa-rectification cultivation and helped me overcome the old forces’ interference. Only by walking my cultivation path righteously can I truly do a good job validating Dafa.

This is my limited understanding. Please kindly point out anything improper.