China Fahui | Letting Go of the Attachment of Jealousy

(Minghui.org) I am an elderly Falun Dafa practitioner. Though my husband does not practice Dafa, he is very supportive. Our son and daughter have their own households, so it is just the two of us, and we live a peaceful and leisurely life.

I strive to do the three things well. After I complete the exercises by 3:10 a.m., I clarify the truth to people on the street in the morning if the weather permits, and I study the Fa at home in the afternoon. I also host a group Fa-study session at my home twice a week. My husband has always been very supportive and is also very warm toward fellow practitioners.

Three months ago, I suddenly developed a strong sense of “jealousy” toward my husband.

Conflict Erupts

My husband hardly ever does any housework; I even have to wash his undergarments. He had two strokes, but thanks to the protection of Dafa, he recovered remarkably well. He can even drive hundreds of miles round-trip without feeling tired. Every morning, he would drive to get a meal, and then he spends the rest of the day walking around town. He often invites me to join him, but I didn’t want to waste my time, so I only went along a few times. At home, I take care of the cleaning, laundry, and all the other household chores, while I also do the “three things” required of a practitioner.

This spring, he rented a storefront to make a tea room across from my home where he and his friends could hang out—chatting, smoking, drinking tea, and having alcoholic beverages. I occasionally cooked a few dishes for them.

Next door to the tea room is a store, and the owner is an attractive, divorced woman in her thirties. She often dropped by to hang out, frequently helped herself to my broom, mop, and other cleaning tools but she never returned them. Every time I needed to clean the tea room, I had to go over to her store to retrieve my items. This became quite annoying. I asked my husband to tell her to bring them back after she used them, but he didn’t. In the end, I simply bought her a broom and a mop.

Whenever I saw the two of them sitting and chatting alone, I felt unhappy. I sometimes said to my husband, “That woman is divorced. Could you please avoid spending so much time alone with her?” But my husband didn’t see it as an issue. On a few occasions, after returning from clarifying the truth, I would stop by the tea room to cool off, only to find them sitting and chatting alone. A sour, jealous feeling would well up inside me. She always left as soon as I arrived. I would also toss out a few cold remarks.

Escalation of Conflict

One evening, my daughter came over and told me that her neighbor, a man in his seventies named Zhang, was divorcing his wife. It turned out the old man had money and had struck up a relationship with a divorced woman who lived downstairs. My daughter remarked that some women nowadays specialize in swindling wealthy old men. Hearing this, I began to wonder: could my husband be spending all our money on some woman? What about the woman who frequents the tea room? Is she, too, just after his money? I immediately sent my husband a message, relaying what I’d heard from our daughter and warning him not to let himself be taken advantage of.

The next day at noon, when my husband came home for lunch, he asked me, “What’s going on with that old man Zhang who lives next door to our daughter?” I recounted the whole story again. He slammed his chopsticks down and exclaimed, “That old woman asked for it. She brought it on herself! She kept nagging him until he finally snapped.” With that, he stormed out, slamming the door behind him without even touching his lunch. My mind went blank; I felt completely dazed and didn’t know what to do. “Oh no,” I thought, “This has spiraled out of control.” My husband’s point was clear: if I kept pushing him, I’d end up being the same as Zhang’s wife.

Acknowledging My Faults

At first, driven by jealousy, I wasn’t thinking clearly. Human notions of jealousy, suspicion, lust, greed, and emotion towards my spouse surfaced. I wasn’t afraid of divorce because I have my own pension, and my daughter said she would stand by me.

But if I were to get a divorce, wouldn’t I be ruining both my husband and that woman? Wouldn’t that bring a negative impact upon Dafa? At my wit’s end, I thought of Master. I stood before Master’s portrait, admitted my wrongdoing to him and asked for help. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind: “Admit your mistake quickly.”

I immediately went downstairs to the tea room. As I mopped the floor, I sincerely apologized to my husband: “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I misjudged you; please don’t be angry. I’m being overly suspicious. I let my imagination run wild. Also, I shouldn’t have kept my pension to myself; that money is actually our joint property. I only held onto it because I was afraid you might squander it. From now on, we’ll manage our finances together. Feel free to spend the money however you'd like.”

My husband said, “Actually, I’m not like old man Zhang. I’m a retired official. I have a sense of decency. Back when you were imprisoned and persecuted, during the very worst of times, people urged me to divorce you, but I refused. So, you can certainly rest assured: I will never divorce you.”

I was illegally detained by the Chinese Communist Party four times. Each time, my husband worked tirelessly to secure my release, and with the protection of Master and the assistance of fellow practitioners, I was able to get out. He never abandoned me in these ordeals. What a kind and good person he is! How could I have forgotten all of this? I ought to be grateful.

I came to realize that this jealousy did not stem from my true self, rather, it was imposed on me by the old forces. I firmly rejected it and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. Afterward, I became more considerate and caring toward my husband. We ultimately reconciled.

Follow-up

Afterwards, through memorizing the Fa, exchanging understandings with fellow practitioners, and looking inward, I found many more attachments in me. I then repeatedly sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate these negative elements. Gradually, I felt my state of cultivation improve. In my heart, I offered an apology to the woman working next to the tea room: “I am sorry! I misjudged you.”

A few days later, I gave the woman and her boyfriend a book that had many stories about people who benefited from practicing Falun Dafa, along with two articles by Master. I clarified the facts of Dafa and the persecution to them, helped them withdraw from the Party and its affiliated organizations, and encouraged them to keep in mind that Falun Dafa is good and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. They both happily agreed.

Because her store wasn’t profitable, the woman now focuses on livestream marketing. Only her boyfriend is working beside the tearoom to pack and mail the online orders. I finally realized that her presence during that period of time was meant to help me improve my xinxing. I truly owe her my thanks!

Thank you Master!