Falun Dafa Illuminated My Life

(Minghui.org) I was born into a loveless family. From childhood to adulthood, no matter how hard I tried—attending prestigious schools and working for top companies—my mother never praised me; she only belittled me. I eventually wondered if I was her biological child.

Growing up with low self-esteem and being overly sensitive, I suffered a series of devastating blows in my life, and I developed severe anxiety and depression. I repeatedly asked myself, “What am I living for?” Then one day I found the answer.

I Finally Found What I Was Searching For

I loved to read, and I bought many books on spiritual healing written by well-known Chinese and overseas authors, including books on Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. When I flipped through these books, they seemed to have a healing effect at first glance, but upon closer inspection, I felt the content was like “scratching an itch through a boot.” They were unable to answer my questions.

In 2016, a friend gave me a copy of Falun Dafa’s main book, Zhuan Falun. I read it three times, and I still remember how excited I was. This was the treasure I’d been looking for! I’d finally found the great way! I’d read so many books, both ancient and modern, published in China and abroad—none were like Zhuan Falun, which explained the mysteries of the universe and life in such a profound way. On day three, I asked my friend to help renounce my memberships in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliates. Then I asked her to teach me the exercises.

Due to years of high-intensity work, study, and life’s pressures, I developed a host of ailments at a young age: I had a frozen shoulder, cervical spondylosis, gastritis, breast cysts, gynecological inflammation, migraines, and so on, which recurred repeatedly and caused me great pain.

I didn’t begin practicing Falun Dafa to have my illnesses cured; instead, I was on a spiritual quest. However, six months after I started practicing Master eliminated my illnesses. The chronic ailment that plagued me for more than 10 years miraculously disappeared.

I used to be melancholy, and my friends said I always had a sour face. After I began practicing, I became cheerful, and my friends said my expression was gentler. I feel my facial expression reflected the transcendent joy I experienced after I understood the truth about life.

I’ve also been involved in a few very dangerous accidents. In one accident, the entire bumper was torn off, and the repairs cost over 10,000 yuan. I wasn’t injured, but I was so terrified that I burst into tears. After I calmed down, I realized Master protected me.

Because I was afraid of hardship and I wanted to be comfortable, not until a couple of years later did I endure excruciating pain to practice sitting in the lotus position. I began to pay attention to the quality of my Fa study, and I thought about my attachments. I made a list of every attachment I found, including fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. Some were obvious, such as my attachment to self-interest, competitive mentality, jealousy, resentment, and always wanting to gain the upper hand. But others were deeply hidden, for example: relying on others, comfort, selfishness, and being afraid of loneliness.

I asked other practitioners to point out the attachments I couldn’t see. I began to consciously observe my attachments and compare them to the list I made to see which ones gradually subsided, and which new attachments surfaced.

I dreamed that I was running on the playground with a very heavy backpack. When I was almost at my destination, I couldn’t keep running. I threw the backpack off, and my body became very light. I ran faster and faster, and I saw my legs leaving the ground as I flew into the air. I understood Master was giving me a hint: Only by letting go of attachments and burdens could I eliminate my karma and be set free; Only by solidly cultivating could I improve quickly and elevate.

After I had this realization, I finally overcame my fear of sitting in the lotus position when I meditated. Perhaps Master saw that I managed to eliminate the attachment of being afraid of hardship, so he helped me remove the karma.

After I understood how to cultivate solidly, I felt more at ease. I’ve taken a detached view of worldly gains and losses, and reduced my material desires. After I began cultivating, I understood that in traditional culture, women should be gentle and virtuous. I began enjoying cooking. I helped with housework, and I washed dishes. When I went back to my hometown during the Chinese New Year, my relatives and friends always joked that all my cousins were like my older sisters, and I was more like their younger sister, as they were impressed by my youthful appearance.

Immersed in the Fa, Master’s Fa principles have been cleansing me layer after layer. That kind of happiness and expression is beyond description.

Eliminating the CCP Culture and Thoughts of Going to Extremes

I grew up in the Party culture, so my mind was deeply poisoned. After I cultivated for a few years, although I understood the principles of Falun Dafa - “Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance” are the sole standards for judging good and bad- I also knew that karma accumulated lifetime after lifetime and that all kinds of attachments needed to be continuously eliminated. What I didn’t realize was that my thoughts were filled with CCP culture. I used to think my negative thoughts were simply a result of the intense competition in society and high pressure at work and in life.

Not until I read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party did I realize I had so much Party ideology deep in my very being. For instance: I had a tendency to take things to extremes. I had an irresponsible and slapdash approach to work, a strong focus on personal gain, a desire for quick results, a combative nature, and a temperament that finds satisfaction in sudden outbursts—all these were manifestations of CCP culture. Only by putting my heart into reading the Fa and continuously assimilating to Dafa could I completely cleanse myself.

Influenced by the CCP’s mindset of going to extremes, for a long time after I began practicing Falun Dafa, apart from work-related socializing, I hardly attended any party-held activities by non-practitioners. I only wanted to interact with practitioners. When I clarified the facts about the persecution to people, I only talked to my relatives and close friends. This kind of extreme thinking was actually a form of selfishness.

With in-depth Fa study, I realized: the social relationships and conflicts that we encounter while we cultivate among regular people give us many opportunities to improve ourselves and eliminate our karma and attachments. Only by cultivating and interacting with people can we clarify the facts to them and help Master save them.

After I calmed down and carefully read Master’s lectures twice, I realized: wasn’t all the suffering I endured in the first half of my life, my past confusion and depression, meant to help me find my mission in this lifetime? I’d been living in delusion while I searched for the meaning of life, and I finally found it. I realized that my mission in life was to cultivate myself well and assist Master in Fa-rectification.

I also realized that my friends, classmates, colleagues, and other people had predestined relationships with me so I could tell them about Dafa. If I distanced myself from them, I wouldn’t have opportunities to clarify the facts to them. How could I possibly assist Master in rectifying the Fa? When I saw my attachments and extreme mindset, I returned to my normal social circle and started participating in various activities as usual. I now understood how precious time was. I socialized with regular people to lay the foundation for future truth-clarification.

Improving Myself, Clarifying the Facts

I began visiting relatives and friends and attending gatherings during the holidays, and I clarified the truth during our conversations. After some people understood the truth about Falun Dafa and the persecution, they asked me to show them the exercises. I’ve continued talking to people one-on-one and face-to-face. During the past couple of years, I’ve helped a few dozen people quit the CCP. Even though the number is insignificant, during the process, I deeply felt my attachments were peeled away layer by layer. I realized that the process of truth-clarification was also a process of continuously eliminating fear, anxiety, and impatience.

I gradually came to the deeper inner meanings of what Master said,

“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

When I wanted to truly cultivate and assist Master in rectifying the Fa from the bottom of my heart, Master helped me and arranged opportunities. I just needed to talk.

When I had to go out of town for business, I thought, “I’ve traveled so far, it would be wonderful if I could clarify the facts to some people.”

I found an old acquaintance and we ate and chatted. When I was thinking about how to tell her about Falun Dafa, she said, “A friend’s mother who is in her 80s practices Falun Dafa and her family has good fortune. But what is Falun Dafa? Why is it banned in China?”

I explained Falun Dafa. She said she understood Falun Dafa is good, but she didn’t want to quit the CCP because she felt she didn’t do anything wrong. I remembered that she previously mentioned she read Buddhist scriptures and she also had Buddha statues. I figured there must be some meddling gods interfering with her. So, I showed her the video about the Tiananmen Square self-immolation. While she was watching it, I quietly sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the meddling gods that stopped her form understanding the truth. After she finished watching, she asked me to help her quit.

Her mother was listening and exclaimed: “My God! We’ve all been deceived. So that’s how it is! The CCP is so brutal; how can they frame a Buddha Law practice?!”

To my surprise, she asked, “I also want to learn this practice; can you show me?”

I said happily, “I’m more than happy to show you.”

Then I showed her step by step. She put her heart into learning it. Soon enough, she learned all five sets of exercises. When she was on the third exercise, she said her whole body felt very warm, which made her feel very comfortable. I made copies of Master’s recorded lectures and the exercise demo video for her. I told her, “You should read the Fa, and listen to Master’s recorded lectures whenever you have time.” She smiled happily and took the materials.

Before we saw each other off, she said, “My dear, for you to do this, you will accumulate virtue.” I was so happy that I was stunned for a moment. I felt it was Master was using her words to encourage me. I understood that everything was arranged by Master, I only moved my hands and feet. I never thought about accumulating virtue. I just wanted to follow Master, cultivate well and assist Master in the Fa-rectification.

As Fa-rectification period practitioners, it’s our responsibility to do the three things well. Our company used to set annual targets at the start of each year. Since the beginning of this year, the annual target I set for myself was to do the three things well—everything else I did was in order to accomplish these three things.

Our cultivation will end soon. In the remaining limited time ahead, I will cultivate diligently, maintain righteous thoughts, and eliminate my attachments. I’ll use the wisdom I received from the Fa and compassionately clarify the facts to people, fulfill my prehistoric vow and return home with Master.

I began practicing Falun Dafa 10 years ago. My knowing side deeply knows how fortunate I am. Through sharing my cultivation experiences with people I sincerely hope they will not miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.