Tribulations Helped Me Eliminate My Attachment to Emotion

(Minghui.org) After a practitioner in our Fa study group was followed last summer, the site was raided and several practitioners were kidnapped. I was not there when this happened, but I was followed by a Chinese Communist Party (CCP) agent, who learned my license plate number and repeatedly harassed me.

During the CCP’s two conferences last spring, the police harassed my husband again and asked where I was. My husband was under a lot of pressure and was afraid my practicing Falun Dafa would affect our son’s studies and his career, so he yelled at me whenever the police called him.

Although my husband didn’t tell the police where I was, they went to my hometown and found me. My one-year-old daughter and I were having lunch when a policewoman and two policemen rushed in. After verifying my identity, they ordred me to go to the police station and make a statement. I refused. Instead, I clarified the truth about the persecution.

The policewoman grabbed my daughter. One policeman pulled me from the front and the other pushed me from the back, trying to take me away by force. I shouted, “Falun Dafa is good! The Communist Party is persecuting Falun Dafa!” My down jacket was almost torn during the scuffle. My young daughter watched in horror as I was dragged into the police car. She cried out, “Mom! Mom!” We were both shoved into the police car and taken to the police station.

When we got to the station I told the police that it’s not illegal to practice Falun Dafa, and that Falun Dafa is not included in the 14 cults listed by the Ministry of Public Security; the ban on Falun Dafa publications was abolished in Document No. 50 of the Press and Publication Administration.

I asked them to show me the legal provisions that banned Falun Dafa, but of course they couldn’t produce any. I said, “Practitioners distribute information about Falun Dafa and tell people the truth about the persecution out of compassion. Those who are filled with the CCP’s lies and slander against Falun Dafa are misled.”

They tried to use my reading Zhuan Falun at a practitioner’s home as an excuse to detain me for ten days. They pressured me to sign a document, but I refused. They took my daughter and me home around five that afternoon. My parents-in-law and husband were terrified. My husband was especially upset when he saw our one-year-old daughter sitting cross-legged with her hands conjoined. He was adamant that our daughter should not practice Falun Dafa with me.

He knew he couldn’t change my mind, so instead he pressured me to promise not to show our daughter how to practice. I didn’t agree because I knew that practicing Falun Dafa will make one upright, healthy, and smart, and that every one has the freedom to choose their belief. He said, “If you don’t promise I’ll take our daughter to her aunt’s house.” I thought he was joking. But he did it when I accompanied my father to the hospital for surgery.

When I came home, I picked up the toys and snacks I bought for my daughter. I felt sad when I looked around the empty house, then I lay down on the bed. I knew this was Master’s way of helping me give up my affection for my daughter.

My husband said he’d stop giving me living expenses while he went to work in another city. He said angrily, “It’s hard to find a job nowadays. Let’s see if you can survive without me.”

I’d never been separated from my daughter but now she was hundreds of miles away. I didn’t know what would happen to her. What would she do if she missed me? My human attachment and qing all surfaced. I had no job, and I was alone. Those days felt like years. I endured them in pain.

I kept reciting the Fa:

“Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives.” (“Cultivators Avoidances,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

By reciting the Fa continuously, my heart no longer felt as tormented by the entanglement of affection.

I found a housekeeping job a few days later. The hostess didn’t know at first that I practiced Falun Dafa, but she said I was a very kind person. Once she asked me why I didn’t have an affair since my husband was gone. I said, “Because I practice Falun Dafa, I know the principles of the Fa. God arranges a wife for a man and a husband for a woman. If you have a relationship with someone other than your wife or husband, it’s a sin.”

She said, “I know why you don’t use a smartphone. You’re afraid of being polluted.” I smiled and said nothing. I didn’t tell her that people in China were monitored. She said she’d never been against Falun Dafa. I later told her about my family situation. My parents-in-law once tried to persuade my husband to divorce me because I practiced Falun Dafa. When I gave birth to my child and during my confinement, my parents-in-law didn’t pay a penny and didn’t help at all. I remembered Master’s teachings, which require selflessness and altruism, and putting others before myself. Every time I went home, I gathered my parents-in-law's dirty clothes and bedding and washed them.

I said to the hostess, “If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, I would resent my husband for sending my child away, and I’d have behaved myself. I would have resented my in-laws. It was Falun Dafa that pulled me out of my dilemma, and freed me from my pain. I no longer resent or fight anyone; instead I strive to be kind.” She looked at me approvingly.

I’m grateful to Master for rescuing me from the sea of desire, cleansing my once polluted and filthy body and mind, teaching me the Fa, and leading me on the path back home. Now, my daughter is back with me and my relationship with my husband is getting better. I persist in doing the three things and firmly walk on the path of cultivation